Tombstone Tuesday: Together

"...Cantankerous, Contrary Old Cusses"

 I always wondered what the story was between Alvis Oliver and Simeon Williams.  Now, I already knew that no one called these 2 brothers by their full names.  They were known as A.O. and Sim, and you might remember A.O. by his beautiful pocketwatch that I've already shared with you here.  Also, A.O. was the father of the beautiful Pearl (Williams) Pointer [the wife of Harve Pointer], making Sim her "Uncle Sim".

With every census that I found them in, I found them together.  Even after A.O. Williams married his wife Nancy Catherine Odell.  I wondered why.  Perhaps I analyze the census too much.  [So sue me.]  But I was right to wonder why.  Lo and behold, there is a story.  And my husband's Great-Uncle Donald [one of Harve's and Pearl's boys] had it, and he shared it with me.  And here's part of what Great-Uncle Donald had to say in his memoirs about them:

Sim was my Granpa's William's brother and never married so he had always lived at home with his mother also, and when Granpa Williams got married I guess Grandma Williams just moved in with them...I never heard Granpa and Sim swear at each other but they argued almost constantly and always called each other cantankerous, contrary old cusses.  They may have swore at each other when they weren't around us boys but they might as well done it in front of us because we all knew how to swear...Granpa and Sim were always poor they made a living doing cement work, Carpenter work, Just handy man work like that.  They had a cement mixer that was powered by a single cylinder gas engine.  A team of horses and a buggy and a light buckboard type spring wagon which they used to go to work with and haul tools in...Their rent couldn't have been much seems to me if I remember about 5 dollars a month.  I don't know what they got for wages probably two to five dollars a day...They had to buy coal to heat with in the winter.  But they didn't have no light nor water nor gas bills to pay.  They did have to buy feed for the horses because they have to eat whether they work or not...I don't remember when Granpa and Sim had two horses I only remember the one they had left...His name was Sam.  He was a tall long legged black beautiful horse.  Of course I didn't realize that at the time, like a lot of other things, but I do now...and then Sam died of old age and that left Granpa and Sim afoot.  Sometimes I do remember them walking to our place but not together I think they needed all of their energy to walk with none to spare for bickering.  Uncle Sim used to say that walking wasn't very crowded but it was kinda lonesome.  Granpa and Sim never owned a home nor a car so I guess the only thing that they owned was their tools and what little household furniture they had.

Now, I still don't know why Uncle Sim never married, but I do know the "how" now [brown cow].  How A.O. and Uncle Sim never really got along.  But somehow they lived together.  And now they lie next to each other in the Collins Iowa Cemetery.  They shared a house.  They shared an occupation.  And they even share a tombstone. They just couldn't share the same dang road.  I think it's as funny as all get out.  [Sorry.  That's a Texas expression.]  I wonder if they're still arguing? [Snort.]

In A Million Words or Less

My daughter is now in 8th grade.  [How did that happen?]  And it seems just like yesterday I was singing "The Wheels On The Bus" with her.  [Sigh.]  Oh well.

This is the first week of school for the kids, and along with all the forms I've had to fill out again [and again and again], 2 of my daughter's teachers requested a paper to be written about my daughter.  For me to describe my daughter, "...in a million words or less."  Well, they asked for it.  That's all I've got to say.  [Snort.]  So, with assurance from my daughter that I could write it once and print it twice, here it is:

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A Million words or less about my daughter?  Well, I didn't hit the "million" part, but here she is:

• She's witty.
• Intelligent.
• Has the most beautiful smile.
• Inquisitive doesn't even cover it.  She's not afraid of asking the question, "Why?"
• Athletic.
• Avid reader.  Avid.  And fast.
• She's shy until she gets to know you.  Then, it's "Katy bar the door."
• Has a natural exuberance that gets in the way sometimes of her listening abilities.  [But time and experience will help to fix that.  I'm sure.]
• Determined.
• Did I mention she's determined?
• She can act tough sometimes, but she's really soft and sweet underneath it all.
• Loyal.
• I have found her thinking outside the box and looking at things from a totally different perspective may drive you nuts, but just take a deep breath, and let her explain herself.  She just may have a point.
• Can work well under pressure.  [In fact, she thrives on it.  She may say she doesn't.  But she does.]
• Confident.
• Can look at anything and draw it.  Anything.
• Competitive doesn't even cover it.  With everything.  All the time.
• She's not afraid to lose.  She's done that a time or two.  She says it's a learning experience.  That she just wants to get better.  And if she has to lose to do so, so be it.  [Her words, not mine.  Honest.  She takes "losing" much better than me.]
• Has high expectations for herself.  And others.
• Resilient.

I could go on, but I think you get the picture.  I think she's awesome.  Not perfect.  [Who is?]  But perfectly her.


Oh.  And good luck.  You're gonna need it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sweet Lemonade

I know I've mentioned it before, but it bares repeating.  Don't forget to look between the lines.  You know.  The census lines?  That's where the stories are.  Somewhere between the ages and the places of births is where they are hiding.

Every time I see a household in the census with extended family members residing in it, it gets me to thinking.  [I know.  Uh-oh.]  If there was a nephew living in the household, I think, "Why?  What happened?  What's the story?  I mean, I know there's a story there."  How do I know?  Well, I've lived that story.

Remember my younger brother [of my heart], Patrick, who was also one of my sister's children?  And how the mitochondrial disorder that he was afflicted with and also eventually caused his early death was the same disorder that prevented my sister from raising and taking care of him in the first place?  And how my parents took him in and raised him.  Like their own.  Like our own.  And for all the trials, tribulations, and tears, I wouldn't have had it any other way.  Because at the end of the day, I got a younger brother.  One that I had wanted very much.

Well, my story isn't unlike other people's stories.

Harvey "Harve" Lewis Pointer

Take Harvey Lewis Pointer, my husband's great-grandfather, for example.   "Harve" was Daniel Pointer's youngest child.  And when Harve was about 10 months old, his mother Emma died.  And I guess Daniel felt that along with Harve's 5 older siblings, he wasn't going to be able to take care of little Harve.  So, Emma's brother, John C. Belcher, Jr. and his wife, Mary (Shearer) Belcher [Harve's uncle and aunt], took little Harve in and raised him.  Like their own.  Oh, and Harve gained 2 more siblings, as well ~ 2 sisters.  Minnie Etta and Effie.  Now, I don't know if Minnie Etta and Effie were happy about getting a younger brother like I was.  But got one they did.

Some might call this a tragedy.  But I don't think it qualifies as one.  A speed bump on the road of life?  Possibly.  But I think a detour on the road of life is more accurate.  Not sad or bad, but different.

You see, Harve still lived near his Pointer family ~ his father, brothers, and sisters.  Harve didn't lose a family.  He gained one.  And I find it interesting that Harve didn't even use the Pointer name until he married Pearl in 1906.  He called himself a "Belcher".  That says a lot about his relationship with the Belcher family, I think.  But, hey, don't take my word for it.  Nothing tells a story better than a picture, right?  Well, below are two pictures.  The top one is Harve as an adult with his Pointer siblings.  And the one below is Harve as an adult with his Belcher family.

Daniel and Emma (Belcher) Pointer's children.

BLR: Minnie Etta Belcher, Harve Pointer, Effie Belcher; FLR: John & Mary (Shearer) Belcher

See?  I told you he had 2 families.

And when I look into the eyes of Harve's Belcher sisters ~ Minnie Etta's and Effie's ~ I can honestly say I know a little something about how they felt.  About what their life was like growing up with a younger brother of their hearts.  And I also know it wasn't easy for either family ~ Pointer or Belcher ~ when Harve passed away prematurely at the age of 44 due to an accident.  I know it wasn't easy.

Because you gotta remember.  For all the forms, charts, dates, names, and numbers that we collect about them, our ancestors were just like us.  Flesh and blood.  With both good and bad things happening to them.  They had decisions to make from choices they didn't like.  They had things that they had to do when they didn't want to do them.

And just like them,

No matter how many lemons life serves us,

No matter how sour the situation is that we find ourselves in,

One fact remains the same that time cannot change.

We're just gonna add some sugar, water, and ice to those sour lemons and make sweet lemonade.

Wordless Wednesday - T-R-O-U-B-L-E

Trouble With A Capital "T"

I think Pearl had her hands full with her boys.  [Snort.]  If that ain't trouble, I don't know what is.   What do y'all think?

L-R: Glen (standing), Wayne, Donald, Lester (in back), Forrest, and Harold Pointer.

Tombstone Tuesday: Daniel and Emma (Belcher) Pointer

Daniel and Emmaline "Emma" (Belcher) Pointer are buried in Woodland Cemetery in Iowa Center, Story County, Iowa.  I mentioned yesterday that Daniel was the son of Lemuel and Sarah (Mountz) Pointer, and that Daniel was now off my "bad side" because Great-Aunt Dorothy showed me his [and Emma's] graves and that Great-Uncle Donald shared a photo of Daniel with me.  [Many thanks to the both of them.  These kinds of details add so much to the story.]

Daniel had a total of four wives [which originally helped to put him on my "bad side"].  His first wife was Harriet Johnson and they married in about 1862.  I think.  As far as I can tell, they had only one child together.  A son named John R. Pointer in 1863.  And what happened to Harriet?  I dunno.  That's a good question.  If I had to guess, I'd say she probably died because by the 1870 census, Daniel has married Emmaline Belcher [marriage was 8 Mar 1866 in Iowa], and John R. is listed as his son on this census along with, 2 daughters, Jeanette "Nettie" and Elizabeth.  Now. I say "probably" Harriet died because that would be the logical assumption since her son John R. is living with his dad and his dad's 2nd wife, Emma.  However, until I have some proof of her death, we can't rule out that maybe Daniel was into polygamy or that Harriet ran off with a carny to be in the circus or that Harriet divorced him and left John R.  [Who knows?  It could or could've happened.  I like to keep my options open.]

Daniel and Emma had the following children [as best as I can tell] all born in Iowa:

• Jennette "Nettie" B. was b.abt. 1867
• Anna Elizabeth or Elizabeth Anna, but they called her Annie was b. Jul 1869 [This is the one that married a man by the name of Charles Padelford, then when he died, she married a man by the last name of Ritter, then she moved to California, then Canada, and God knows where else.  She keeps me on my toes.  But I've got some photos of her.  Wait 'till you see her.]
• George Washington was b.4 May 1872 and died in Saskatchewan, Canada [Cuz, why make it easy?  But I've got photos of him, too.]
• William "Bill" was b.abt.1876  [And wait until you hear this man's story and see his photos.  He made the papers.  And not in a good way.]
• Lucille was b. Jun 1879 and died in 1909 in Long Beach, California.
• Harvey "Harve" Lewis Pointer was b. 28 Sep 1882 in Iowa Center, Story Co, IA and died 14 Jan 1927 in Collins, Story Co, IA.  [This is my husband's great-grandfather, and he's got a story, too.  Don't we all?]

Daniel's wife, Emma, died 16 Jun 1884 in Iowa Center, Story Co, IA and was laid to rest in Woodland Cemetery [a.k.a. Iowa Center Cemetery].


Daniel went on to marry twice more to first a Lena Sophia Knese 1 Jun 1892, and then married an Elizabeth Gates on 8 Jan 1902 [And, hey, what a coincidence.  That's my and my husband's wedding anniversary, too.  Um.  Just not the "1902" part.  I'm not that old.]  I don't know what happened to these wives of Daniel's, but I'm assuming they died until a better explanation comes along, or until I find the evidence.  [Again, I'm keeping my options open.]  To the best of my knowledge, he did not have any more children with anyone.  [But, who knows?  Maybe he did.  You can never be too sure about ancestors.]   Daniel passed away 12 Nov 1908 in Canbridge, Story Co, IA and was laid to rest next to his 2nd wife Emma.  Below is their shared tombstone and their "Mother" and "Father" place markers.

Daniel & Emma's shared tombstone from Emma's side.

Close up of Daniel's side and...

...Close up of Emma's side.

 

Madness Monday - Nanny Nanny, Boo-Boo

Yeah.  So.   I have quite a few ancestors that I'm mad at and/or about.  A mixture of crazy and frustrated.

And maybe it was because we attended the Pointer family reunion in Iowa last month.

Or it could've been because of Great-Aunt Dorothy's personal tour of the Pointer [and related] family tombstones.

Or maybe it was the morning Cousin Roger gave us a personal tour of the Iowa Aviation Heritage Museum in Ankeny that included Pointer family military uniforms and memorabilia.

Or perhaps it was when Great-Uncle Donald gave me the disc of approximately 1500 scanned Pointer [and related] family photos.

Or it could have been when Great-Uncle Donald gave me a disc of scanned digital images of Pearl (Williams) Pointer's scrapbook.

Or better yet, it could be when Great-Uncle Donald gave me a print copy, a digital copy, and a voice recording of his memoirs.

Or maybe it was all of the above that made me have "Pointer" on the mind when my daughter asked me yesterday, "Mom, if you could choose just one and only one ancestor to bring back to answer questions, who would it be?

Who would I rather mercilessly interrogate interview?  Have a sit-down, let's-unearth-all-the-family-skeletons chat?

Hm.  I've done a lot of work on my husband's 2nd great-grandfather, Daniel Pointer.  The birth, the marriage [or in his case, marriages], death [only one], residences, occupations.  You know, the usual.  And other than the whole "4 wives" thing, he hasn't really made me mad.  Crazy.  Frustrated.  In fact, I'm quite happy with Daniel right now.  Why? Because Great-Uncle Donald had a picture of Daniel, and Great-Aunt Dorothy took me to visit his grave.  [And it hasn't escaped my attention that it took 2 Pointer's to get Daniel Pointer off my bad list. *snort*]



Nope.  The Nanny Nanny, Boo-Boo Award goes to Daniel's father, Lemuel Pointer.  And here's just some of the questions I'd like to ask:

• I'm having some trouble with your origins, Lemuel.  I know you didn't just appear in about 1803.  Were you born in Virginia?  If not, where?  Who were your parents?  Was William your dad?  How about your siblings?  Aunts?  Uncles?
• I can't tell if you and your wife, Sarah Mountz, stayed together, if y'all separated or if y'all divorced.  Can you help me out?
• Depending on the answer to the above question, why did y'all separate the children?  And how did y'all decide who went with who?
• Oh, and wow.  You certainly liked to move around, didn't you?  A lot.  After leaving Knox, Columbiana Co, OH, you skippety-doodad your way through Iowa and then Kansas.  Why did you keep moving?  When and where did you die?  Where were you buried?
• Dude,  would it have killed you to leave me some more clues?  Hm?

Who makes me mad?  Crazy?  Frustrated?  Who would I love to question?

Lemuel Pointer.  
b. abt 1803 in maybe Virginia
m. 30 May 1826 Sarah Mountz in Columbiana Co, OH
maybe m. 15 Aug 1856 Fanny/Nancy Lotington in Boone Co, IA
d. some time after 1 Mar 1875 maybe in Kansas or elsewhere [You are dead, aren't you?]


That's who.  And Lemuel?  Stop the "nanny nanny, boo-booing".  It's so unbecoming of an ancestor.  [Rolling eyes heavenward.]

To Be So Close

Trains.  Locomotives.  What an addition to transportation!  A welcome addition to those folks who were used to traveling by wagon, coach, horse, and/or foot.

It's been passed down in my husband's family that the beautiful Pearl Williams and her family moved from Missouri to Iowa by covered wagon when she was about 7 years old.  In fact, my husband's Great-Uncle Donald explains in his memoirs that Pearl [his mother] and her sister walked most of the way behind the wagon, and that "...only when they came to a town did they get on the wagon and ride through town," on their way to Collins, Iowa.

About 200 miles.

Probably most of them dusty miles.

Quite possibly some of them wet and muddy miles.

Could you imagine?

I bet Pearl and her sister wished they'd been on a train.  It sure would've been much easier and faster.

I wonder, though, if she appreciated the irony of the situation when she received  the postcard below with a photo of a train on it from her son, Forrest Pointer [my husband's grandfather].  He'd been in Marshalltown, Story County, Iowa while in the U.S. Navy in 1946.  About 30 miles from Pearl in Collins, Story County, Iowa and not even able to go home and see his mom and family.


To be so close, and yet so far.

[This post is a submission for the Festival of Postcards hosted by Evelyn Yvonne Theriault on her blog A Canadian Family.]

Wordless Wednesday - A Genealogist's Dream

The Maxwell, Story County, Iowa Community Historical Society's Museum

Their family bible collection. *sigh*

© Copyright 2010 Caroline Martin Pointer

Tombstone Tuesday: Martha Jane Smith Blacketer

Martha "Mattie" Jane (Smith) Blacketer

Is it just me, or did her name not get exciting until she married a Blacketer?  To top it off, her mom was a Davis.  See, this is what I get for complaining about all my Mary's.

Ah. Harrison and Mattie.  What kind of relationship did they have?  According to the 1880 census, Harrison [36yo] was married to Mattie's mother, Estella C. Smith [29yo], and Mattie J. Smith is listed as Harrison's step-daughter.  Now, this is the census where they asked the question about illnesses, which is a cool question if your ancestor had the misfortune of being ill.  And according to this census, Estella had been sick.  She's listed as having heart disease and pneumonia [poor thing!].  I would imagine being 10yo, little Mattie had to do a lot, if not all, the housework.

While looking for a marriage record for Harrison and Estella, I came across a marriage record for Harrison and Mattie.  No she wasn't 10yo, but 28yo, and Harrison was 53yo.  Now this wouldn't be so strange to me if maybe I could find another marriage for Harrison to someone. Anyone.  As mentioned in last weeks post, Harrison had been in the Civil War.  So maybe he hadn't dealt with that very well, and just never married.  Maybe Estella had been widowed and was ill with little Mattie, and Harrison took them in.  Maybe Harrison even married Estella, and I can't find their marriage record.  Maybe he never married her, but just said he did.

But what makes this stranger, is that Estella did not pass away before Harrison and Mattie got married.  [You were assuming that, weren't you?]  In the 1900 census, Harrison, Mattie, and their son [my grandfather] are listed together.  And guess who else is listed as being in their household.  Right.  Estella.  And she's listed as Harrison's mother-in-law.

So what was going on in this household?  That definitely is the question.  My plan is to search further for a marriage record for Harrison and Estella.  Or Harrison and another woman.  I understand that Mattie had been probably running that household for a while, but I find it a little strange that a man who had at least raised a child from the age of 10, marries her 18 years later.  But what do I know?  I wasn't there.  Maybe they fell in love.  [Or something else.]  Maybe after being a bachelor for 53 years [if he didn't marry previously], Harrison thought, "It's time to get hitched.  And why not Mattie?  She's been running my household for so long anyways?"

Well, I hope it wasn't like that.  [I'm just having a little fun.]  Maybe they did fall in love after so many years together.  They did have a total of 3 children: James Wesley, Maude, and Maurice.

Makes me wonder what my descendants will think about me and my decisions.  I guess I'd better hurry and get everything written down.  Well, at least what I want them to know.  You know, my version.  The rest they can figure out.  They can wonder, "What the heck was she thinkin'?"  [I'm assuming, of course, they'll have my Texas accent.]

Below is Harrison's and Mattie's tombstone, which is located in Graceland Memorial Cemetery in Cameron, Clinton Co, MO.  It was real sunny that day so I took some close-ups too.

 

A New Blog?!?

Yes, I've started a new blog.  [I have so much spare time. *snort*]  While here on Family Stories I concentrate on my personal family research, this new blog is for "newbies" to genealogy research.  It's a light-hearted how-to blog for those who are new to genealogy research, or who may have started researching with no instruction.  So, check it out, and if you know someone who could benefit from it, please share the link.  Oh, and my daughter sketched this new blog's mascot,"Great-Aunt Bernice".  I asked her to sketch something in between Marge Simpson and Maxine from the greeting cards.  Hi-la-ri-ous.  You gotta go take a look at it.  I can just see Great-Aunt Bernice in the Family Stories' Zazzle Store.  On t-shirts.  On hats.  And tote bags...

Enjoy.
 
For Your Family Story

Tombstone Tuesday - Harrison Blacketer

My Great-Grandfather

On the way to my husband's family reunion in Iowa last week, I suggested to my husband that we make a pit stop.  At a cemetery.  What convinced him to stop, I think, was the fact that it was "just" off the freeway.  And it was.  But there are 3 exits for the town of Cameron located in Clinton County, MO.  And it wasn't until the 3rd exit that we found the cemetery.  [Backtracking, of course.]  But found it we did.  With my husband, 2 kids, and I canvassing the small-ish Graceland Memorial Cemetery, it didn't take long to find my Blacketer's.  My mother's father's family.  Our family that we knew nothing about thanks to a tight-lipped grandfather with secrets.  [I know I don't have the corner on grandfather's with secrets.  But, seriously?  Both of mine?  Oh well.  It makes the research much more interesting.]


Anywho, my son was the one to find them.  Beckoned with a "Mom. I found them." [Words a genealogist loves to hear, yes?], I hurried to see my great-grandfather's tombstone along with my great-grandmother's and a great-uncle and his family.  [Sigh.]  The tombstone featured below is my great-grandfather's Civil War tombstone, which is located near the tombstone he shares with his wife, which I'll share next week.  [No sense in sharing everything all at once.  There are many more Tombstone Tuesday's to go.  You know?]  Harrison Blacketer served for the Union side in Company H and was a part of the 12th Mounted Cavalry for the state of Missouri along with his brother, Samuel Blacketer, who also served in the 12th Mounted Cavalry.  Their father, Howell Blacketer (my 2nd great grandfather), also served in the Civil War for the Union side for the state of Missouri.  I have no idea where Samuel is buried, but I do know that my 2nd great-grandfather, Howell, is buried a couple of counties over and a little further north in Missouri.  However, it's not "just" off the freeway, and I didn't want to push my luck.  I had a ton of cemeteries to drag my family through to visit with my family in Iowa. [Wink.]


I don't know much about Harrison except that in one census he was married to an Estella Cordelia (Davis) Smith.  Then the next census he was married to her daughter, Martha Jane Smith, who is my great-grandmother.  I've found his marriage record to Martha, but not to Estella.  But Martha Jane was only about 10yo in the census he is listed as being married to her mother.  There's a story there.  Probably a really good one.  Oh, and seriously?  Martha? Jane?  Smith?  Davis?  [Sigh.]  I guess I shouldn't complain.  At least there's not a Mary in there.  [Snort.]